Friday, February 29, 2008

10tv Investigates...ROFL

Okay, I tried to find the link to the newscast, but could not, so you will just have to take my word for it. Evidently, if you were spanked a lot as a child, you are prone to promiscuous, unprotected sex and a strong desire for sadism-masochistic sexual behavior.

Joe and I turned to each other after we heard this and just started cracking up! I mean really. Come on.

Gosh....i could use a spankin' right about now...I'm not sure why.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Whata Day

Seems like I was stressed out all day for no good reason. I managed to take an okay Drivers License pic today. Al least I will not cringe every time I see it. The last one was bad. Very bad.

Next week in International Women Week, so there is a lot of stuff going on within DA. One of the galley directors asked me to find some abstract artists around the world to interview. So far I have one from Ireland, and one from Scotland. I've approached a couple of women in Germany, Poland, and Puerto Rico. and Poland, but have not heard anything. There are two more women in Iran and Turkey that I want to approach, but I am not sure if they are fluent in English.

I may be able to add a huge name to my interviewed list next year. Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson. I emailed him to request an interview for OLOGY a month ago. I was pleasantly surprised to see an email from his office yesterday. He has requested that i delay it until his next book is published in January 09, which is perfect. Of course I can wait. It just goes to show what a science geek I am...he is an astrophysicist. I have a pile of books on astrophysics that I read...ok try to read. His are more down to earth than most. Of course, Dave will share the by line. I am sure he has some questions for him, as well, and we will most likely co-write it.

The abstract art club that I started on DA is really taking off. I need to do some more promoting and recruiting. It is more of a challenge to manage than I expected it to be.

I spent a great deal of the afternoon sitting on the couch in my front room trying to read with Zoey crawling all over me. I did not want to miss the UPS man. He had my Cintiq. Got it at 645 pm. FINALLY. Anyway, I need to go to the Apple store tomorrow and buy a video cable adapter for the mac. I should hook it up to the VAIO.

New Series

Well, I have finally figured out what my big project is for the year. Several watercolor series groupings.

I have several planned. Two are almost complete.

The Fossils:

I may move the blue one over to The Elements series. Seems out of place here, except for the fact that there are many fossils in the oceans so two more to go.

Stained Glass

3 more to go...

I will also do the following series over the next few months:
-Elements (fire, earth, water, air)
-Hubble (images of space mimicking the Hubble's views of space with different filters)
-Space Bodies (the surfaces of celestial bodies...such as the moons of Jupiter)
-Nature (abstracts of macro views of leaves, flowers, plants)

And maybe more as I think of them. As of right now, each series is $500 to $750.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Good Aunt

This was taken under my direction back when I was a good aunt. Now three out of four of these kids have kids of their own, which promoted me to great aunt. As great aunt, I do not promote flipping off the camera.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday Night Soul Searching Blog

Nah, not really. If it were truly I would just delete it, or edit it later on.

I need to revamp some of my old poetry. I have some half finished stuff on the PC that I want to redo. Writing always exhausts me. I am not sure that I am any good at it. I know I don't know anything about it. I took exactly one creative writing class since high school. Novel & Short of my humanities in college. FYI...I took as many of the humanities as possible. I went to a biz college, but my class list looks more like some fluffy liberal arts degree. But I digress. That class was a great one. I remember after we read The Hunger Artist we had a discussion about what an artist truly is, and the difference between artists and performers. I about lost it at one point because I had to argue with a woman about who was the better artist: Celine Dion or Mozart. She argued that since CD is based on how much money she makes. It was like arguing with a pack of idiots...the downfall of biz school versus a trad college.

I had another experience like that later on when I was in a Global Cultures class and found the class's consensus regarding the separation of church and state was that we should not. That one actually scared me into silence and left the prof dumb founded. The class before, which was online and was Popular Culture, also had the same strong opinions about that. We had been given a list of 4 songs to choose from to pick the one that best represented we view our country and write explanation as to why.

I remember 3 of the 4. The 4th was not a popular choice. Neither was my choice. Me an two others picked it. The most poplar was Lee Greenwood's song. Here were the choices I remember:

1. Lee Greenwood's "God Bless America"
2. My Country Tis of Thee
3. Public Enemy's "Fight the Power"
4. no clue

Most people were really into number one. They felt that our country is about God. They wrote about their evangelical love for God and how our country's values are based on it. I wish I would have saved that blog. It scared the fuck out of me.

You know me, so you know I chose #3. My reasoning was that our country was founded by people who broke away from their homelands to form a better world. We always need to question authority, be progressive, and should never follow like sheep.

It is interesting how far their man has fallen.

And Celine Dion still sucks.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I was incredibly productive today at work. Feeling much better about life in general. I feel like I have moved on from something that was troubling me. In fact a few things have wound up and are coming to an end this week. I think I can enjoy the rest of the month now.

I'm ready to turn choice really, but I feel like I am moving in the right direction. I feel worlds better about my life than I did one year ago. A year ago i weighed much more, was completely stressed out, and slept too much. I did not realize how sick I was. My brain was not working. To be honest I do still struggle with my cognitive skills, and wonder if it is because of my MS. I am better than a year ago, but I am constantly forgetting words. I am more dyslexic than I was...or else I notice it more. I go to the eye doc this weekend for my field test. I worry about my color rods...people with MS sometimes lose their ability to see red. When I get tired I see weird color after images. Like white salt on black pavement will have an electric cyan shadow. Or a fight scene from Resident Evil has a weird red flashing glow that no one else can see.

Anyway, I need to start taking better care of myself. I have improved, but there are tons of things I need to do in order to keep healthy.

My first bottle full of needles. Yes, I will glue them to a canvas some day.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Me and Mac

Introducing Princess Mackenzie, heiress to my vast kingdom of dust.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Sparkle Motion?

Just so you know, I am questioning your committment to Sparkle Motion. Are you wearing enough glitter??? I mean really, there was more in the can, right? Can you ever really have enough flair?

I think we are all really drunk, and really tired, or really drunk and tired here.

Saturday, February 16, 2008


I read a guys blog this morning on DA about how he charged no less than $900 on a 7 course dinner, champagne and wine for himself and his wife on V-day.

At that moment I had an epiphany. If that man could spend that much money on food and drink then...

I'll buy this with no guilt. And I did.

Why? Because I am worth it.


You know, that pic gets me reminiscing about this guy I use to hang out with all the time, named...well, I will call him Devin. Devin use to sit beside me at work. We had the same job...the only two in the department with it, so we worked pretty closely. He was a rocker in his spare time. A drummer. Had that dirty look to know, he was clean and dirty at the same time. He was a very handsome man. Tall with brown hair, brown eyes, and a scar on his face. We got close over time. Went to lunch together all the time, drinkin' all the time, drinkin' on lunch a lot. He was prided himself as a functioning alcoholic. We loved to go shoot pool. We would curse each other's shots all the time. His curse for me was "monkey dust", my curse for him was "kitty glitter". I miss ole Devin. I moved to a different job at a different building...he came to the building, but we never really connected after that. We had a moment in time together and now it is gone. I hope he is happy now.

By the way, I never saw him naked. We were just friends.


I want to borrow those stockings...

See a larger version here.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hypnogogic Hallucinations

Hypnogogic Hallucinations???, huh?

Hypnagogic sensations are vivid dream-like experiences that occur as one is falling asleep or waking up. Accompanying sleep paralysis can cause the sensations to be more frightening. The features of these sensations generally vary by individual, but some are more common to the experience than others:

Most common
Falling sensation

Sensing a "presence" (often malevolent)
Pressure/weight on body (especially the chest or back).
A sensation of not being able to breathe
Impending sense of doom/death

Fairly common
Auditory sensations (often footsteps or indistinct voices, or pulsing noises). Auditory sensations which are described as noise instead of sensations of legible sounds, are often described to be similar to auditory sensations caused by Nitrous Oxide by persons who have experienced both.
Visual sensations such as lights, people or shadows walking around the room

Less common
Floating sensations (sometimes associated with out-of-body experiences)
Seamless transition into fully immersive lucid dreaming, also associated with out-of-body experiences
Tactile sensations (such as a hand touching or grabbing)

Involuntary movements (sometimes the feeling of sliding off the bed or even up walls).
The feeling of being pulled in different directions

My Experiences

I have had these hallucinations since I was 19 years old, and have noticed that they are brought on by stress. I have been amused by them most of the time, but have wondered if there is something wrong with me. One of these days I may consult some professional help (shouldn't we all?), but for now I will enjoy my hallucinagenic episodes.

I know of a couple of other people who have them. I have only asked about 5 or six people if they have the same type of experiences, and two have said yes. Both women in their 20's and 30's. And their episoded coincide with stress in their lives.

Both are frightened by them, but recover quickly. One sees their ceiling fan slow and speed up, and also has tactile hallucinations. She experiences paralysis, but eventually can "wiggle" out of it. She also feels her sheets tighten down on her or move on their own.

The other has far more frightening hallucinations involving seeing people in her room. Mine normally involve snakes and spiders, orbs, and a variety of other things. I have only had two with human like figures. I have listed them below with the approximate years they have occured.

List of Occurances:
1988 - Opened my eyes to see the open closet at the foot of my bed become a laundromat. "Zombies" or dead bodies started to climb out of the washing machines and dryers. I experienced paralysis with this one. As I shook out of it, the image faded away.

1988 - I was sick at the time, so I think this one was more fever induced. I saw an illuminated figure floating above me.

Eleven years elapsed before the next one. They coincided with starting college and a year long separation from my husband.

1999 - Watched a white light spin over the bed for a few minutes. This was one of the more peaceful ones.

1999 - The laundry beside my bed "lurched" at me. It was like someone was under the sheets. It merited a scream, and was one of the more scary ones. Notice the reoccuring laundry theme. Hmmmm.

1999 - Watched a red orb float through my living room before it escaped up the fireplace. Again, one of the peacefull ones.

1999 - Was drifting off to sleep, feeling like I was floating through the air. In my mind I was in my living room at the apartment I lived in at the time. I suddenly dropped at felt like I was bouncing. Funny thing is, I woke on the chase lounge, but swore I started out on the couch.

2000 - Woke up to find thousands of slithering snakes on my ceiling. I yelled at Joe to wake up. Of course once he woke up the snakes evaporated.

2001 - Woke up to find a man with long, wild hair standing at the side of my bed, lurching over me. I experienced paralysis on this one. Eventually he just faded.

2004 - Look over my bed and saw a spider about to have babies. It's belly popped and hundreds of spiders dropped down. Sort of looked like a chandelier. Of course I screamed and woke poor Joe up.

2006 - Saw a shadowy spider on the ceiling, but could not tell exactly what it was. I yelled at Joe to wake up and asked him was the fuck was crawling on the ceiling.

Again, poor Joe. I don't think it's as much the fact that I wake him up. It's more that I don't even need drugs for this kind of experience.

I know there are more, but that's all I can remember. Most of the time they are relaly entertaining. They can give me quite a jolt for a moment until my mind realizes that there is nothing there.

If you have these experiences, let me know!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Fuck Me Running

I reserve the right to make lewd and perverted comments on my blog. It has nothing to do with any neurological disorder I may or may not have. It is not because I like the word Fuck, and use it often. It is not even about the fact that I call bad drivers "Fuck-Face" when no one else is in the car with me. That is actually part of a condition called Automotive Turrets...I made that up about a year ago.

Am I too old to still want to cuss like a sailor? I dunno, maybe. But the older I get, the less I care what people think.

So, my best friend from high school, Chris Gongaware, always use to say "Fuck me running." I have no idea what that means exactly, but as a teenager I thought it was cool. I didn't meet Chris until my senior year. She was the new girl. New as a senior in a town like in the 8th grade was hard enough. So, we became great friends...outcasts attract and we did a ton of smoking and underage drinking together. And when we turned 18, it was frequent trips to Ohio to hit the bars. I always thought she was awesome. The year after high school she spent a lot of time stock piling her blood at the blood bank for a surgery she was planning to have. That was the thing to do at the time...with AIDS so new to the world. She ended up having this major surgery and wearing a cast around for what seemed like years afterward. She was so brave to go through that...she should have been off at college instead of being in so much pain. I have sort of lost touch with her over the years...we both have been through a lot of is hard to keep up when life has so many distractions. I have not seen her since the last time I was in Michigan.

So, if you Google your name and get here, Chris, email me. Or call me...actually, you better email me.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Mercury is Definitely Retrograding

Gah, I am exhausted. What a week. I ended up being completely unmotivated to do anything today. Completely distracted, too. And not myself. I feel sort of disconnected. A lot of it has to do with what is going on with Joe. I can't talk about it now because I don't want to make it into a bigger deal than it has to be yet. Which is partly why I have been so weird lately. I am usually pretty forward/open with stuff, but I need to keep this in check so I don't worry about things. But it manifests itself anyway.

Note to Jared: I may delete portions of this at some point in the future. Nah, I'll leave it up. I'm not brooding too much.

Went to a gallery re-opening tonight in Grandview with Remy. Had an awesome time. The opening was cool. It was a little pretentious. Then went to Old Bag O Nails after. Byrnes was super crowded, and I hate to have too many people around me.

So, Remy and I may open a gallery together someday, which sounds cool to me. I am actually thinking of starting an online gallery soon. Sort of like Abstract Earth.

Gah, I am too tired to type...I'll be back tomorrow.

"I'll Make You MY Bitch, Bill"

Do you think she is thinking, "I'm gona get you back, Bill. Soon you will be my bitch." I have a friend who jokes (um, I think he is joking, but at some moments I am not sure) about how Hillary wants to enact some sort of weird revenge on Bill. I am not sure what the basis of this revenge would be...something about a hell-hath-no-fury...
But, the weird pointing thing she does sort of reminded me of his theory, joke or not. It is even more bizarre to see in action. Because she claps for a moment, and then points and nods her head. Perhaps her internal voice is saying, "OH yeah. Get ready, Bill. Just wait and see what I do in the Oval Office."

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

C Note Art Show - Votes Needed

Okay, the folks at Junctionview have this little spin to the show...the more votes you get on your online gallery, the better wall space you get at the show.

So, if you will be so kind as to vote for me, and maybe spread the word, that would be groovy...

Vote here.

PS. You can vote daily. And the cookie is detecting the browser...not IP. If it even could. All I am saying is that you can vote once on each browser each day. This is probably why we can't do political elections from the PC yet. Although, I think we could from our cable TV...well, maybe not. Now I am rambling. Dammit. Have some whiskey, honey.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A Book, A Film and An Album...February

Got this idea from Chix0r on DA...I'll start out with my favs. You may have already checked them out, or maybe they are some of your favs as well.

A Book
The House of Leaves
by Mark Z. Danielewski

I love this book because Danielewski has completely ignored tradition and structured the book's layout to help tell the story. Now this book will give you a bit of a work out as you get into it, with its twists and turns. The book is about a photographer who owns a house that is not confined to the usual physical laws of the universe, and constantly shifts and changes shape and opens doors into unseen deminisions. This does not seem like the most frightening plot, but in fact it is frightening because you start to believe that the fabric of time and space around you can somehow become fragile and malleable.

More information on Wikipedia.

A Film
Donnie Darko
Director: Richard Kelly

Currently I am reading a pretty extensive interview of the director of the film. I figured out why I love the film: Richard Kelly wrote the script to Donnie Darko without considering conventions, and from his heart. He fully explains how the story came to be. It came from one single element: the jet engine falling out of the plane. That was inspired by ice falling from a jet aircraft. Kelly then began to build the parts and pieces up from that scene. His objective was to solve the mystery of the jet engine falling from the sky.

This is a perfect example of taking a simple disjointed idea, believing in its validity and molding it into something with ingenuity and creativity. That is a beautiful thing and the very essence of what it is to be an artist. Now, keep in mind that he never once stopped to doubt himself, or second guess himself. He did not rely on convention, or let it hold him back.

more information on Wikipedia.

An Album
October Rust
Type O Negative

I listen to this album a lot while I am painting. It is more melodic than TON's other albums. If I have to pick a fav song, it is Burnt Flowers Fallen. It is about a man whose woman has fallen out of love with him.

More information on Wikipedia.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Introducing...the Flaming Cunts

That's right.

(((Hey, Jared, you should send me the band logo so I can post it here.)))

Now, I have not seen the logo, but I can imagine it is a vagina engulfed in flames. I mean, that is what I would design.

But, my point is, I had the pleasure of being the lead singer of the FC this evening. And wow...I can't sing worth a shit. Lots of mumbling, making up words, and screeching. Beeeeeeautiful.

I had fun dressing my character...she is a goth girl with lotsa black netting and kick ass black buckle boots. I need to get a pair from Steve Madden. She also has a tattoo of a Black Widow on her belly. That suits me.

Rockband is a blast to play, whether you are good or not.

P.S. Thanks for the cookies.

Not just a whore...a G-Whore!

So, I must have this...

The Wacom Cintiq 12WX

I need to pay down the CC, but I feel like this will improve my life vastly and make it possible to pay off my CC even faster. Not really.