GAH!!!!!!

Holy shit. I just found a tiny spider spinning a web in my hair!! I am f'n serious!!!

At first I thought it was a tiny piece of lint, but then I realized that tiny piece of lint had tiny legs that were moving.

EEEEK!

Environmental Issues

I have a plant at work. Today I decided to bring it home.

Bigfoot!!!!!!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I'll get the DNA to you by Monday. Sure thing....

Rockin' the Diabetic Coma

So, according to one of my ologists I am a diabetic, but I have decided not to let that stop me from enjoying the delicious salty caramel ice cream that Jared left today. Yum!! Even better with brownies. ZOMG!

Photo credit...stole the pic off his blog.

About to Listen

The other day I accidentally turned the channel to Cspan2. Yes, I am serious. My clunky right hand hit the wrong buttons and there it was. Some older gentleman was being interviewed under the hot-looking gymnasium and television lights. I recognized the name on the bottom of the screen...Vincent Bugliosi. I have always been a fan of his work. He was the deputy DA that successfully put Manson away. I read his first book, Helter Skelter, when I was around 15. Now I am ready to "read" another of his works, The Prosecution of George W. Bush For Murder. Actually I bought the audio version from iTunes. I intend to keep an open mind while listening...we shall see how that goes.

Read the wiki for more.

Like a Duck

Actually a goose...went to gallery hop tonight. It was around the time that the sidewalks were overly crowded with people. If you know me then you know crowds are not my thing. So, I started to walk in the street at times. Which reminded me of all the Canadian geese at work, who, incidentally, cause me to hop-scotch along the sidewalks because of their piles of green excrement. But I digress. As we were walking to Caribou the other day we walked up on about 30 geese. They all took off moving exceptionally fast in fear of us, which surprised me. Off to the pond, they went, to eat more fish and grass so they would have ammunition for my shoes and give me reason to skip. So, off to feed our caffeine addictions we went. On the way back we saw the same gaggle of geese sloooooowly walking across the street in front of a car. So, my point, just in case you missed it, is I would rather take my chances with a 2 ton vehicle in the street that could mow me down than with a bunch of unruly humans on the sidewalk.

Where is my mind?

I love that song...


This week I feel completely empty. It's hard to explain. You know, there is a certain sadness in the melody of that song that really gets to me.

I often wonder if the madness of my creating is to develop some sort of immortality. Not an actual immortality, but just a way to perpetuate my existence in this realm of being. I have no kids...but what guarantee is there that your children will carry on any memories? I have no faith in medicine, at least in my lifetime. The best I could hope for is a way to interface technology with the organic and somehow capture the data in my brain that makes me me.

Or maybe there is a heaven.

Five Year Plan

Long time no blog, eh?

I gave up corporate ambition for various reasons that I will not mention here. Lately I have been thinking about how I can make a living doing what I truly love. So, what I lack in corporate ambition, I hope I can make up for in artistic ambition. I will be trying to define that plan over the next few months to come up with something that I can accomplish.

I think my work has come a long way in the past year. I need to get in on some shows again so i can get my work out there.

BAR FOOD

Ah, the joys of conceptual photography. You can make of this whatever you want. It is mostly just a bunch of drunk friends playing with the greasy bar food and their iPhones.

Top Five Things From This Week...NO...Six!

Monday: Jared is recruiting everyone from my work for his company.

Tuesday: Spent a good part of the day in Riverside's emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack...was just panic.

Wednesday: I painted two paintings on this day. I also had my last PT session for my neck.

Thursday: Had a great morning. Dave wants to resurrect The 614 Art Collective with him and I, James, Tom and Tim. Cool. We will probably produce a monthly news letter and do quarterly gallery shows. I hope this happens because I think it'll rock.

Friday: Soooooo, my husband wants me to find a new job. He is completely livid that I work so many hours. He has accused me of having an affair. Also, Dr. Mavian, my rockin' neurosurgeon, has convinced me to let him slice me open and put a cadaver bone in me! .05% zombie I will be. Schaweeeeeeeeeet.

Saturday: Won a Daily Deviation "award" for The Devil's Breath on deviantArt!

yay!

70 pounds later...

Even when I have had just about the shittiest day ever, this reminds me that I look hellah better at the end of it than a year ago. Once i lose the next 70 pounds I will post a triptych.

Art Plans & Discipline

You know, I have not been as completely disciplined about my art as I have been in the past year. I know I started getting very serious about it around May 5th of last year, and have really gained a lot of confidence and skills over the past year. I have had a couple of nice, shiny moments, like getting into my first juried show, which was nice. I need to enter more shows. I don't know where it is going, honestly. I have my plans, and I know how to market myself, but we shall see. So, with the assumption that I had all the money and time in the world, here is what I would do:

1. Prep for a Fine Arts masters program. Considering that my undergrad is in Digital Communications with a focus on Internet Marketing, I will probably need to meet a couple of prerequisites for a Fine Arts program.
2. Enter a Fine Arts program. It would have to be local and traditional. As much as I like online campuses and can work well with them, I would want to go to classes.
3. Concurrently, I would open an online gallery. This would be a sort of precursor to opening an actual brick and mortar gallery.
4. Eventually, I would like to represent a set of artists and their work in my gallery. Non-exclusive. Obviously this is just s starting point for them, and I would help them achieve the next level. I would have my work in this gallery, too.

Anyway, for now I need to get back to painting. I started out talking about discipline because I have had a lack of it lately. I started a piece the other day that has me baffled. Eventually, it will get done. Otherwise, I need to just move on. I scanned in the current version for my new stock gallery.

Stewie Griffin-like Delivery

This morning Joe got up to move something so Zoey could sit on the table between us, and then Zoey completely took over his recliner as soon as he got up. Joe was about to leave for work, so he did not care, but I "scolded" Zoey for doing it. I evidently delivered the scolding as if he were Brian and I were Stewie. Joe totally called me on it and started laughing.

"Soooo, Zoey, are you proud of yourself?
Are you happy that you kicked Joey out of his seat?
Do you think we ought to get you your own recliner?
Put it right here in the middle of us.
Yes, that would be nice, wouldn't it?
How's that novel coming along?"

Well, I did not say the novel part...Joe added that one in. And I am not sure if my voice started going up several octaves either.

Handlebars

I think I like this animated version of Handlebars better than the video with the children. It brings a little more of a story behind the lyrics. Plus, I like how they have animated a comic-book-like style. I am not sure whether the intent of the lyrics is about the government, corporations, or the young people in this world that make grand plans to blow away the people around them. Or maybe you can apply its message to any of those psychotic entities.

Speaking of psychotic entities...

Here is the version of the video. Evidently, Universal Music Group likes to keep people from embedding videos to their blogs, or else you could just watch it here.

Transylvanian Concubine by Rasputina

This is how I rock...(laughing now)

----RULES----

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name. Fool! *’s are much classier
5.Put this on your journal.


1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
"God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Johnny Cash

2. How would you describe yourself?
"Kissing the Sun" The Young Gods
Lyrics:
Soon we will be on our way
Say goodbye to yesterday

Soon we will be in the light
Swimming in the open sky

We’ll spread our wings around the stars
Watch the way we drop our scars

We will be kissing the sun
Everybody knows kissing the sun
One and one with the one you’ve chosen

We’ll spread our wings as we get higher
Spread our wings into the fire

We will be kissing the sun
Everybody knows kissing the sun
One and one And the thing explodes

[Wild that it mentions scars]

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Rental Car" by Beck
[Let me rent you for a while...I get bored easily.
Honestly, I have no idea what this means.]

4. How do you feel today?
"Timebomb" Godsmack
[Didn't I already tell you to back the fuck up?...oh no, I deleted that]

5. What is your life's purpose?
"Down with the Sickness" Disturbed

[ugh weh weh weh weh. ugh ghh ugh. I am one sick bitch.]

6. What is your motto?
"Szamar Madar" by Venetian Snares
[I'll translate this from Hungarian later on...all I know is the video rocks. It is about the creation of the universe, or some shit like that.]

7. What do your friends think of you?
"Over" by The Perfect Circle
[I am so over...that's ok. I'm tired now, anyway.]

8. What do you think of your parents?
"Gun Shy" by Liz Phair
[um, I have no idea what this means...]

9. What do you think about very often?
"Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog
[I have been really fat (morbidly obese...pretty words) all of my life. Now I am losing tons of weight...I'll miss being fat, even if it is killing me.]

10. What is 2 + 2?
"Where are You? (Carol C. Remix)" by Omni Trio
[stupid question=Stupid Answer]

11. What do you think of your best friend?
"Johnny Feelgood" Liz Phair
[My best friend rocks. He has taken care of me for twenty+ years. I dig him more than anything or anyone else on Earth.]

12. What do you think of the person you like?
"3rd Planet" by Modest Mouse
[Hmmm...I like a lot of people...and incidently they are all Earthlings.]

13. What is your life story?
"Up To Me" by Jethro Tull
[Why that is true.]

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Joey" by Concrete Blonde
[ha ha...more like Joey's wife]


15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"We Can Work It Out" by The Beatles
[And I am sure we can and we will, man....as soon as you get over yourself...or I get over you.

Ha...just making shit up again. Awesome, huh?]


16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Freestyler Remix 2" by The Bom Funk MC
[thaz hilarious]

17. What will they play at your funeral?
"Gypsy" Fleetwood Mac
[Um...that is not on my funeral playlist!]

18. What is your hobby/interest?
"Thru the Motion" by Pepe Deluxe
[hmmm...I like to dance.]

19. What is your biggest fear?
"Surrender" by U2
[NEVER!]

20. What is your biggest secret?
"Biggah" by Mephisto Odyssey
[This has no words...my secret is still intact!]

21. Your life:
"I Can't Wait" by The White Stripes
[Who you messin' with? Who you think you tryin' to fool. Whatever.]

22. What will you post this as?
"Transylvanian Concubine" Rasputina
[It makes as much sense as anything else.]

Envy

I think this is the place:

Short North Hit & Run: More to the Story

The other day the news talked about the hit and run that took place in the Short North that left two people in the hospital. Evidently there is a lot more to the story than "two people leaving a bar at night."

The people involved were run over by a man trying to get out of paying his bill at Haiku.

"On Thursday evening, a man left Haiku Restaurant in the Short North without paying his bill. Julie, co-owner, and Rachel, a bartender, followed the man outside to his vehicle. According to police, the man started his vehicle and purposely struck Rachel and Julie as he backed out of his parking spot."

You can read more here.

Also, if you feel like giving some money, please do. One of the people is an artist and the other is the owner. I hate to see Haiku drug down and put out of business because of this.

Ronald McDonald Turns Zombie

Sad news from McDonaldland today. It seems that Ronald McDonald finally turned zombie and discovered his cannibalistic lust for flesh.

This happened shortly after Grimace's body was discovered following an apparent suicide from a healthy dose of poison. Rumor has it that Grimace's suicide was motivated by the clown's constant badgering about his intellect and checkered past. Another rumored reason, but unsubstantiated at the moment, is the fact that Grimace led a secret life of cross-dressing and had astronomical credit card bills from shoe purchases.

Tattoo...Vampire Fish

Looks like we will be going to get tattoos in June...end of June. I need to redraw a couple of versions of vampire fish. I am getting mine in the middle of my upper back...down a few inches from my neck. I'm excited about it. Here is one of my versions of vampire fish:

Fugly Day...

Went to see my mom today. Had lunch with her and my sister and her husband and her mother-in-law. Tornado sirens were blaring. Not to worry though, they said...the tornado was in northwest Columbus. Wait...that's near my house. By the way, Paula Dean's Zuccinni Custard is just as nasty and gross as it sounds.

Jared Likes FIRE!

Bonfires. Marshmellows. Smores. Trying to get a decent iPhone signal in the near-boonies. Did I mention fire?

Hey, I am so Asian!!...and blonde, too.

Get yours here.

2008 Columbus Festival Schedule

MAY
5/10 Springfest 2008 Art & Garden Gala
MORE INFO: http://www.mtgileadma.com

5/17-18 Delaware Art Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.delawareartsfestival.org/

5/24-25 Asian Festival
MORE INFO: http://asian-festival.org/index.do

JUNE
6/6-8, 2008 Columbus Art Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.gcac.org/fest/

6/21-22, 2008 Worthington Art Festival
MORE INFO: http://owba.net/annual_worthington_art_festival.htm

6/27-29 Easton Art Affair
MORE INFO: http://www.eastontowncenter.com/eventinfo.cfm?eventid=2626

6/27-29 Comfest
MORE INFO: http://www.comfest.com/

6/28 Pride Parade and Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.columbuspride.org/

JULY
7/12-13 Westerville Art Festival
MORE INFO: http://westervillechamber.com/festival/index.php

7/25-27 Jazz & Rib Fest
MORE INFO: http://www.musicintheair.org/jazzfest.htm

7/26 Grandview Lazy Daze of Summer Festival
MORE INFO: Lazy Daze

AUGUST
8/1-3 Dublin Irish Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.dublinirishfestival.org

8/16- 17 Columbus-Worthington Art Fair
MORE INFO: http://www.artfestival.com/visitors_schedule/110710.htm

8/29 – 9/1 Greek Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.greekcathedral.com/index.cfm?page=festival

SEPTEMBER
9/1 Upper Arlington Art Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.ua-ohio.net/artsfestival/

Not specified Dublin Art Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.dublinarts.org/events/events.html

9/5-7 Oktoberfest
MORE INFO: http://www.germanvillage.org/oktoberfest/home.html

Not specified Old Worthington Market Day

Not specified Italian Festival
MORE INFO: http://www.columbusitalianfestival.com/index1.html

NOVEMBER
11/29-30 Christmas Fair
MORE INFO: http://www.christmasfairartsandcrafts.com


DECEMBER
12/4-7 Winterfair
MORE INFO: http://www.ohiocraft.org/fairs.html

Happy Endings

A funny quote from the BBC:

"America loves happy endings, but I am not sure whether Hillary is prepared to give the Democrats one."

Read More HERE.

Cameras

My beloved Minolta X700...circa 1982. I still love this camera...mostly because I did not get it until 2002. I traded it for $50 and a painting of a cartoon cow...a little character I developed for the design class.

I wish I had a dark room set up. I loved photography class. The only thing I did not like was having to develop the film. Mainly because I would have to go into the black room to roll my film onto the little cage thing to put through the developer washes. To me that part can be done in a lab. The real fun and second part of the art making is in the dark room. One of these days maybe.

Real Men of Genius

All of the commercials are here: HERE!!!

Manipulations of Time and Space

The things we could do if we could only manipulate time and space. I can only imagine what I would do with that sort of power. I'm sure you can find some people that already think they can through meditation and the like. I guess, if I could, I would find time to do my art...and maybe, if it is like The Fermata, I would pick up some awesome shoes...those shoes cost $300 fucking dollars...not for me. Nah, I would keep it honest.

Here are a couple of interesting creative takes on the subject...


Cash Back
The short film, Cash Back, gives an example of what an art student named Ben does to control his perception of time while at work in a grocery store.


The Fermata
In the book The Fermata, the main character discovers that he can manipulate time. This is truly one of the more perverted books I have ever read.

Evil Monkey

(The following text was lifted from iVillage.)

The spunky Monkey is the original party animal! Charming and energetic, Monkeys crave fun, activity and stimulation. They truly know how to have a good time and can often be seen swinging from one group of friends to another, attracting a motley crew in the process. Always upbeat, they are considered minor celebrities in their circle thanks to their sparkling wit and that rapier-sharp mind. Perhaps surprisingly, Monkeys are also good listeners and tackle complicated situations with ease. This Sign's natural curiosity lends it the desire to become knowledgeable on a broad range of topics. Monkeys have a show-off side that loves nothing more than to dazzle their pals with all they know.

The Monkey tends to be rather accident-prone due to a certain lack of very high morals. This Sign's first interest is pursuing its own pleasure; this is not a malicious interest, it's just the way the Monkey is. However, this kind of carefree self-involvement can lead to all kinds of scrapes. In love, the Monkey makes a fun, exciting lover -- but one that may have the potential to stray romantically. The good news is, the Monkey’s glib manner and witty repartee can often get this Sign out of a scrape. Perhaps not everyone will be won over by the Monkey -- but do you think the Monkey really cares? The Monkey's world, full of devil-may-care energy and revelry, isn't for everyone. Remember, though, it's not that this Sign is mean; it might just be a bit too curious for its own good. Monkeys often feel the need to try everything at least once, which can make for a merry-go-round of relationships.

The Monkey's love of self-indulgence can also lead to other types of trouble. This Sign may have limited self-control concerning food, alcohol and other pleasurable activities. It's party time all the time for the Monkey, yet when it leads to a monster hangover or a shattered heart (generally someone else's, not theirs), this Sign might actually show a touch of remorse. They won't flat-out admit the error of their ways, but at least they'll pull back and try to tone things down -- for a while.

Monkeys must try to learn to think of others ahead of themselves, at least some of the time. This Sign's world will be more complete once it realizes the world doesn't revolve around it.

The Infamous Backroom

There is a place called the NewsStand on 161. I like to go there to stock up on art magazines...sometimes. They usually have all the magazines about art and design that I am into. But there is one exception to my liking the place. The art magazines are situated by the back room. The back room holds all of the adult magazines. So, the shy guys (and surprisingly, they are all shy) have to stand around and pretend they are interested in art before they finally feel comfortable enough to go in the back room.
It is annoying. Why be so ashamed of your sexuality? I say make a beeline for that porn and be proud. Hell yeah.

Magnetic Earth

So, in 2012, when the predicted polar shift occurs and the Earth's magnetic fields go down to zero, will magnets still work? Are they somehow dependant on the Earth's magnetic forces? And if that is that case, then are magnets less strong in areas like the West coast of the US and Isreal? These are things I think about when I wake up in the morning.

A Poem by Stewart Griffin

Oh, Squiggly Line in my eye fluid,
I see you there,
Lurking on the periphery of my vision.
But when I try to look at you,
You scurry away.
Are you shy, Squiggly Line?
Why only when i ignore you,
do you return the center of my eye?
OH Squiggly Line,
It is all right.
You are forgiven.

-by Stewart Griffin

Pricasso...

Visit Pricasso's site.

Um, yeah...so, I wonder how much DNA is in that painting...

This is a BEAUTIFUL work...

Got this in the post today...

It is a watercolor painting by Amy Hooton that is based on one of my brain scans.

Problem: Life's Little Challenges

Solution: EDITED FOR QUESTIONABLE CONTENT.
Man, I totally dig sittin' out in the lanai and watching the sunset, listening to the birds sing their last song of the day, and getting totally fascinated with the silhouettes of the trees. There are so many different trees out there. And the sunset was really gorgeous tonight. Lotsa yellow and a little pink and blue.

Thaz right, I said lanai.

I was listening to exactly two songs practically on repeat. One was NIN's A Warm Place. Now that is a kick ass song. I am trying to count it out to do an animation to it, but I keep on zoning out.

The other one is heavy inspiration for an upcoming painting.


Stratford-On-Guy

I was flying into Chicago at night
Watching the lake turn the sky into blue-green smoke
The sun was setting to the left of the plane
And the cabin was filled with an unearthly glow
In 27-D I was behind the wing
Watching landscape roll out
Like credits on a screen
The earth looked like it was lit from within
Like a poorly assembled electrical ball as we moved
Out of the farmlands into the grid
The plan of the city was all that you saw
And all of these people sitting totally still
As the ground raced beneath them thirty thousand feet down

It took an hour, maybe a day
But once I really listened, the noise
Just went away

And I was pretending that I was in a Galaxie 500 video
The stewardess came back and checked on my drink
In the last strings of sunlight, a Bridgette Bardot
There's a hat on my headphones
Along with those eyes that you get
When your circumstance is movie size

It took an hour, maybe a day
But once I really listened, the noise
Just went away

It took an hour, maybe a day
But once I really listened, the noise
Just went away

Existence

So, a couple weeks ago I alluded to a conversation I had with James and Phil. They had posed a question, or a conundrum, that was basically as follows:

If you made an exact replica of yourself with DNA, as well as an exact imprint of your memories and knowledge, and essentially everything that makes you you up until that moment, where does your soul reside after that moment? In you, or in your duplicate, or in both?
And then in the next second the first version was killed, would you die or live on?

We pretty much determined that your soul, or your existence would remain in the original vessel. So, you-as-you-know-it would die. The duplicate of you would then become it's own entity and would not actually have your soul.

I dunno...it is trippy to think about.

Note: By the way, the wormhole time travel flow chart really has nothing to do with this quandasity. And, just so you know, "quandasity" is a made up word.